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It seems as though Giannina’s observation in the lead-up to their would-be wedding day – that, when he told her that theirs was the best sex of his life, she didn’t return the compliment – may have left a mark. Giannina and Damian: very much in love? Photograph: Netflix This is news to Damian, who has been actively dating (if you call some hand holding and a frisson-free lunch “dating”, which the producers emphatically do) a woman named Francesca. Despite this, says Giannina, they are not only still together but very much in love. Only two people really get behind the brief for chaos: the self-described “soulpreneur” Giannina and her former fiance Damian, who rejected her at the altar. Every scene shows its seams: Diamond is set up with a date for the party the guys discuss potential parenthood while listlessly pumping iron the girls get lunch to compare manicures and men (specifically: Mark). You can’t fake that tension – but the narrative arc of After the Altar, insofar as there is any, is so contrived as to make the Kardashians look off the cuff.
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You might believe him were it not for Lauren beside him, her smile frozen. “When we get the group together, it’s always a fun time,” Cam says. Photograph: NetflixĪnd now they will all be together again – for the two married couple’s joint anniversary party.
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All three have now blocked Jessica on social media Mrs Barnett refuses to speak her name, calling her “Voldemort”. Most significantly, Mark is expecting a baby with his new fiancee, after being jilted at the altar by Jessica (and a post-production fling with LC) and Jessica has a new boyfriend, after half-heartedly attempting to break up the Barnetts. And Carlton seems still scarred by the experience.
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Kenny – who always seemed too sensible for Love Is Blind – is engaged to someone he met after the show. (Or, as Barnett puts it: condom-free sex, “the best part of being married”.) LC, Kelly and Diamond are single, to varying degrees of “happily”. The Barnetts – you may remember them as Amber, the “ex-tank mechanic”, and Barnett – are considering curbing their “crazy” lifestyles to have children.
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At the table they helpfully, systematically update their nonplussed parents on the goings-on within the “pod squad”. We pick up with the couple before Lauren’s birthday dinner, bickering about whether Cam should “wash the chicken” pre-cooking (wash produce, says the scientist, but not meat). Lauren and Cam: the show’s most likable couple.
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