It seems as though Giannina’s observation in the lead-up to their would-be wedding day – that, when he told her that theirs was the best sex of his life, she didn’t return the compliment – may have left a mark. Giannina and Damian: very much in love? Photograph: Netflix This is news to Damian, who has been actively dating (if you call some hand holding and a frisson-free lunch “dating”, which the producers emphatically do) a woman named Francesca. Despite this, says Giannina, they are not only still together but very much in love. Only two people really get behind the brief for chaos: the self-described “soulpreneur” Giannina and her former fiance Damian, who rejected her at the altar. Every scene shows its seams: Diamond is set up with a date for the party the guys discuss potential parenthood while listlessly pumping iron the girls get lunch to compare manicures and men (specifically: Mark). You can’t fake that tension – but the narrative arc of After the Altar, insofar as there is any, is so contrived as to make the Kardashians look off the cuff.
You might believe him were it not for Lauren beside him, her smile frozen. “When we get the group together, it’s always a fun time,” Cam says. Photograph: NetflixĪnd now they will all be together again – for the two married couple’s joint anniversary party.
All three have now blocked Jessica on social media Mrs Barnett refuses to speak her name, calling her “Voldemort”. Most significantly, Mark is expecting a baby with his new fiancee, after being jilted at the altar by Jessica (and a post-production fling with LC) and Jessica has a new boyfriend, after half-heartedly attempting to break up the Barnetts. And Carlton seems still scarred by the experience.
Kenny – who always seemed too sensible for Love Is Blind – is engaged to someone he met after the show. (Or, as Barnett puts it: condom-free sex, “the best part of being married”.) LC, Kelly and Diamond are single, to varying degrees of “happily”. The Barnetts – you may remember them as Amber, the “ex-tank mechanic”, and Barnett – are considering curbing their “crazy” lifestyles to have children.
At the table they helpfully, systematically update their nonplussed parents on the goings-on within the “pod squad”. We pick up with the couple before Lauren’s birthday dinner, bickering about whether Cam should “wash the chicken” pre-cooking (wash produce, says the scientist, but not meat). Lauren and Cam: the show’s most likable couple.
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